I BUILT THIS

Today was the first day I felt like I had my ish together since August.

I woke up at 7:30am, went to the gym and ran five miles, came home did some homework, put on cute clothes (I got some new Audrey Hepburn style black crops), and actually curled my hair with a curling iron. I was unstoppable.

Had a good day of class, I really adore writing for television, and today I got to play the part of Lucille Ball for some read throughs.

Afterwards I went to Kmart to pick up some tools, stopped at the Panera by my apartment, and set to work. That is when the meltdown happened.

I put together this bed:

It's a wonderful bed. 

I expected assembly to take two hours, as my couch from yesterday took one. 

So comfy cozy! First thing I watched on it? Gravity Falls. 

But no, the bed was a different story. 

There were 146 little screws, nuts, bolts, and hunks of plastic. Not to mention the large hunks of wood and metal of all shapes and sizes. The fun thing about Ikea is they don't give you written instructions just Swedish cartoons. 

I was doing okay at first, but then the instructions became hard to decipher and then it happened. I pulled a Gob.

I put two of those freakin' nuts in too soon, and you can't take them out once they're in. I tried prying those suckers loose, but they wouldn't budge. I finally got one out, but the other was so stuck. I was two hours into making that cheap Swedish bed and I was freaking out. I started yelling at it, then I was nice and tried speaking softly to it. I even tried to MacGyver my way through it with a magnet and tweezers. (I'm that ridiculous). Then it pushed me so far I started to tear up like I was watching Love Story again (totally watched it this weekend, I cried so much). Then I decided, no. No, this will not break me. Prior to assembling my furniture I read Ikea horror stories and I decided I was stronger than that. So I sucked it up and started hacking at the nut. Sure, I chipped a good chunk of it off, but I totally got it out.

Then Ikea decided it forgot to include a few things that could have happened at the beginning of assembly, but no, they wanted me to do some Ikea yoga around that bed. I would feel so betrayed when that happened. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yYUlLFlw1I If you go to the reaction from the 24 second mark to 35 seconds that is how I felt. Kevin Kline is the equivalent of Ikea in this scenario. 

It took me a total of 4.5 hours to build that thing. But I feel so accomplished. I built a bed and a couch, I still have this kitchen thing I need to build, but that's small and I don't want to think about it. I did this completely on my own, and while the process sucked, it's still really awesome. I also found out that I'm ambidextrous with a screw driver. Who knew?