Paige Smells Really Bad

Paige is a scuzz monkey. She sits on the couch, farting and burping without even flinching. The problem is her odors are silent and deadly, so there is no warning when the pungent fumes from her body will attack the apartment. There is something dying inside of her, and she needs to get it removed. I turn and look at her when I get a whiff and I'm like "Paige! Did you just ____?!" And she turns to me wide eyed and surprised that I can smell what she did. Scuzz Monkey Magee.

ANYWHO. We ate at Olive Garden today, and I gotta say, it was the best freakin' food of my life. Stuffed chicken marsala.Who knew?

What? You don't want to hear about Paige smells and what I ate? But what else would I talk about?

Oh! My play! That happened...

So there is a recording, the file is massive, and I can't figure out how to decompress it properly, so I don't know how I can share the play...

The play was fine. It was really weird to see. Kris Diaz (playwright in residence) before told me "I read your rewrites, and I gotta say, it was really funny. Like really funny. But here's my speech: this reading will not go how you planned. The audience will laugh at things you don't find funny, and they won't laugh at jokes you planned for. Your actors will not do what they did in rehearsal, this will be a completely different run then you have ever seen. Prepare yourself. Sit near the back so you can watch the audience's reaction - this is imperative for comedy. Don't stress, there's nothing you can do any more."

Umm, yikes. He was so right. I liked rehearsals better than the show. I felt bad one of my actors fell out of his chair. People laughed at stupid parts, but didn't laugh at what I considered to be decent parts. The audience seemed to enjoy it. And after my interview as I was walking back up the stairs people were telling me they liked it and one guy said it was brilliant (he's way too nice). I loved my actors, they did well. But the whole time I just wanted to take the words back and be like "No! I can write better than this! Give me more time!" And I had been happy with the script before the show, but not now. As a funny side note there was a comment sheet and Hailey wrote to me that she did not appreciate the use of the f-word in my play and wrote "You are a member of the church!"

And on top of that I saw myself on the iPad recording for my post interview - I sounded silly and looked awful. So that was SUCH a boost. I literally went into a weird grieving process the rest of that day and the following. And even now I just want distance from this play and lose 50lbs. I have to come back to the play, because my director wants to shop it around and will need rewrites by February. I do apologize to mi madre, because I was feeling overwhelmed post play and body conscious, so I wasn't as fun to be around as I had been prior.

Today I feel better, people liked the play, it did go well, now to the next thing.