Dixie: You should!
Me: No, she would think I was such a freak. Or like who is this fatty who wants this?
Dixie: Do it!
Me: Alright, I'll do it.
Tonight I was at the Redlands street market with Dixie, Bill, Soph, and Baden, and we passed a henna booth. I went over to the girl at the booth.
Me: So if I told you how to make a design could you do it?
Her: Yeah, totally!
Me: Okay, like could you make a heart and write "carbs" in it with an arrow going through it?
Why would I be doing this?
Yesterday I found out I have an insulin problem. The doctor had me come to his computer and look at my blood test results.
Him: You see this? Look at your fasting, now look at what happened in an hour!
It had more than doubled.
Him: This is not good, but I have the same problem, so I know how to fix it. You could diet and exercise all you want, but you would have never lost the weight, your insulin and glucose are acting as steroids. Not your fault, just bad genes.
He wants me to go on a low carb diet (not to be confused with no carb) and up my fat and protein intake. Right now my body craves carbs, especially when I'm really hungry, but when I eat them my body immediately stores it as fat, right now I have to teach my body to rely on protein and fat and apparently things will be fixed (fingers crossed). At first I was ecstatic! I knew something was wrong with me! But then it hit me...carbs, my beloved carbs, were now the enemy?
My doctor read my mind "It's gonna suck, but once you get past the first few weeks, you'll be amazed at how good you feel. You don't realize it now, but you actually don't feel good, go to Barnes and Noble and buy yourself a low carb diet book." Not sure if I buy that, but we'll see. So in three months I have to get that stupid glucose test AGAIN.
Let's talk about that. If you haven't had the test, it's usually reserved for pregnant women who may have gestational diabetes, you get your blood drawn after fasting, then drink this horrendous sugary drink that wants to be flat sprite, but isn't, and then you get your blood drawn every hour for 3-4 hours. This is my nightmare realized. I went first thing in the morning and the place was already packed, so I was like "Oh, you guys probably don't have time..." And of course, she said they did. I had to wait an hour to even get my first test.
The woman takes me to the back room.
Her: So, when are you due?
*record screech*
Me: I'm not pregnant.
Her: Oh...soon?
Me: No!
I went out to the waiting room and watched Mad Men on my laptop for the next hour - the lady next to me leaned over and tried to watch it with me. The next hour a guy who looked like he was an extra for The Haunted Mansion with the voice of James Franco took my blood. Apparently my veins suck on my left side, so they had to keep going for my right. It was hella painful. Each hour I ended up getting him - turns out he was just a temp, and that was his first day ever in this location. I wanted to know everything about him - I mean, he genuinely looked like a vampire. I could be one now after four hours with him, I don't know. Also, I'm super squeamish, I lie down and close my eyes while they do it so I don't see the blood, but what does he do after each test? Brings the vials right up to my face and asks "Is your name spelled correctly?"
I HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN.
Today was day one of low carb and it sucks, guys. My mom texted me pictures of cake.
I made it through, but man alive, I am tired, and I looked online and apparently I'll go through stages of being in a fog in a few days, and I'll probably be irritable - which I already feel.
I still get carbs, but not at the level I currently want. So I jokingly said to my mom yesterday "I want one of those mom tattoos, but instead of mom, I want it to say carbs."
And today I had the perfect opportunity.
The girl who did the henna was like "Can I take a picture of this?" I said, "Of course!"
It glitters like my love.
It symbolizes while I can't be with carbs as much as I used to, I will always love them. Hopefully by the time this fades I'll be better adjusted...
It's only been one day...
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